Money? No. Faith!

It has been a long journey for me and my family since we began to seek to do God's will in our lives. If one is to follow God you can usually forget about having a "traditional" lifestyle. We have moved eleven times in the fourteen years that we have been married. When we felt as if God was done with us in one area of life and ministry we packed up and said, "where to now"?
God doesn't always give the resources that are needed to do His work in heavy volume or surplus. He likes to give just enough as we need it. In Steve Brown's latest news letter he said that all his monetary obligations were met, but it sure would make him feel better if someone would give a few million so as to relieve some stress. Well he knows as do I that God doesn't work that way--generally speaking.
When we moved from MS to FL we came over for an interview for a teaching job for Leslie. She got the job and we didn't even have time to plan a move. I was at RTS Orlando, she was teaching in a public school, our possessions were in our house in MS, and we were sleeping on air mattress in an empty apartment! This transition was a lesson of faith for us. We wanted to know where we were going, how we were going to pay for it, etc. But there we were sleeping on air mattresses. Every night I aired them up and every morning the only part of us that was off the floor was our arms and legs. The air seeped out every night. I guess God thought He would add a little humor to things.
Well we are at another transition. I am done with RTS. When I turned in the last paper, I walked down the sidewalk and it hit me. We have finished what we came to FL six years ago to do. I told Leslie we were finished here. I saw in her eyes that we were not! She had been in a ministry at a Christian school for five years now. She has friends, an income, our kids are getting a first rate Christian education, we have lived in one place longer than ever before, things can't be over--can they? It wasn't long until she was no longer at peace in her ministry and one event after another led to a confirmation that we are indeed done in FL. It is amazing how sometimes we think that everything centers around us. Can we be opposed to God using negative circumstances to act in the lives of others where He has work to do? Our lesson in being mistreated or lesson in humility may be God's occasion of teaching another something that we are completely ignorant to. Whatever may be the case, Leslie stood on solid ground through a difficult trial and is at peace now.
Of late I have been sifting through the idea that I would take a break from school and work at my trade as a painter. We like the idea of Leslie doing the stay at home mom thing. We cannot afford to send our kids to a Christian school apart from Leslie teaching at one qualifying us for a tuition discount. But many fine Christian people have not had the privilege of private school. We are thankful for the years that our children have had. I can make enough money with my trade to allow Leslie to be a stay at home mom as well as pay for private health insurance. This sort of lifestyle is very appealing to us. I would not be able to go to school and do this, however. I worked a lot while at RTS and it took me six years to do a two year degree. I have one more tour of duty in my academic training. So a decision has to be made.
I did not realize it but I had misplaced my faith and started living the American dream in my mind. We have a new car, a mortgage, and the possibility of a "normal" life. Deep down I kept thinking we are not ready to settle down to this sort of life (and may never have lives as such).
I was on the phone discussing with Leslie the fact that we do not need to worry about money, that God controls it all, and He will make a way. We went over how we liquidated all of our assets to do the degree at RTS. God has given some of that back in the equity of our house we now live in. We will do the same again. We decided we must return to an attitude of faith. We will sell all to buy that pearl of great price. Our house is on the market!
We have been raising money for an adoption. We were short $5,500 of the estimated $20,000 needed. Five minutes after our conversation about how money and a stable life had darkened our sight as to the direction of God's will, Leslie called me with the news that a family wrote a check for the balance! Our refocusing of faith was confirmed by this gift from another family of faith.
I am not bragging on my faith. It was starting to waver. It is God who is faithful. It is God who gives me faith.
I told Leslie that if God wants us to move to Africa and live in a grass hut we will. She said jokingly, "let me know how thing go for you". I know that she would do it if we believed it was God's will. (Of course I would build a two story grass hut for her.)
Well here we are wondering where we will go for me to do a PhD. We are making arrangements to loose a new car, sell our house, and live like a student for what will probably be another two or three years. When I get finished with all of this academic preparation I will be ready to retire before even getting my career off!
I have struggled with the notion of a PhD. for a while now. I sometimes feel as if it is only a sinful pursuit to satisfy the demands of the world. I have also struggled with whether or not to do it in philosophy or theology. I keep thinking that if I do philosophy I can work in a secular environment as well as a Christian setting. It will be safer career wise this way. But I believe God will have me do theology. He knows I need it to be closer to Him. Besides He can provide a job wherever He chooses. Pray for me and my family as we press onward.