After a few posts on the family I still have a few loose thoughts clinking around. I am afraid that a very important point may be easily overlooked. You have heard the saying "give respect where respect is due." I submit that this is not a biblical attitude to have. The biblical perspective is give respect where respect is due, but also and especially where it is not due. This is what is so radical about the gospel. "Christ died for us while we were yet sinners." "We love him because he first loved us." "Love your enemies." I could go on and on. The point is that we honor our parents even if they don't deserve it! We honor our wives even if they don't deserve it! We obey our husbands even if they don't deserve it! Servants obey their masters even if they don't deserve it! We honor the earthly king and the laws of the land even if he treats us ill and imposes unjust laws!
The only thing, even the best of us, "deserve" is everlasting punishment!
It is God's way to take an approach that is foreign to our natural instincts ("his ways are not our ways"). He makes wise the simple and foolish the wisdom of this world. He would have the first last and the last first.
If this is hard for us we must remember that it is not necessarily the character of the person the we honor but the God ordained position that we honor. It is not for us to judge but to obey God at this point. It is ultimately God that we honor in being obedient to him.