Prayer

It is my only desire to know you. All other affections in my life are nothing more than distractions. They are lusts of the flesh and temptations of the world. These are a burden to my soul, distraction from true knowledge of you and intimacy with you. In my innermost self which is in accordance to and bears witness with your spirit, I long to fellowship with you. Sometimes your presence is so overwhelming that it seems as if my earthly body cannot contain you. There are also seasons of despair and depression because I cannot sense your presence. I know, however, that you never leave nor forsake those whom you love. May my depression turn to rejoicing! Whether in times of trials, temptations, or sufferings that accompany this unredeemed flesh, visitations of your presence or abandonment, I will never deny you in my heart of hearts, but by your spirit I will say "Jesus is Lord." The lips that have cursed you will now praise you in light of your grace and mercy. Through the good times and the bad you are my God for evermore. Forgive me for grumbling when it seemed as if you had departed from me, such grumbling that is similar to that of what your people of old when they were delivered from the bondage of Egypt. Fearing that Pharaoh would again overtake them they sinfully complained. I too have been guilty of raising my voice in desperation saying, "have you brought me out of this land only to be destroyed in another?" Forgive me for cursing my circumstances and exhibiting such lack of faith. I will never curse you and die in such a state--an apostate to the faith. Though you would slay me yet will I serve you. I realize now that it is according to your good will, for your glory, and to my benefit, that your providence governs the affairs and circumstances in and of my life. I will do nothing but eat, drink, sleep and live my life according to your word setting my eyes on things heavenly: when I lay down, I will turn my ear to your word; when I awake during the night, I will turn my ear to your word; when I take on the labor of the day, I will turn my ear to you; when I worship you, I will eat of your body and drink of your blood in your sacrament, tasting to see that you are good; in my planning of life, I will look to you and enquire what it is that you will have me to do. I wish for you to be great in me. I do not want to be great but in you. I aim to be a man of great judgment of things spiritual, not simply judged to be great. I want to be last in your kingdom, and accept this wisdom, but Lord I desire to be first as well. Do not forget me in this matter. Not that I am first as men would count it to be first, but first in knowing you. It cannot be wrong in desiring be such for your kingdom, and in you, can it? If we hunger and thirst after righteousness we will be filled. It is your promise. I desire to be rich, not with the currency of this world, but according the treasures of your spiritual blessings. I want to be popular, but not in the eyes of the world, rather, to be such in your eyes and in the eyes of your people. If I am known I want to be known as a man of God. Those that I think are famous the world does not. The fame I desire comes only from being in tune with you. Such popularity as to be named with you is what I seek. And if no man know my name in this life and the ages to come it is no disappoint to me. All that matters is that I am known of you. The title of Christian is good enough for me.